Friday 30 April 2010

Fabulous Friday: Boobquake (Shake Your Groove Thing)

Problem: Make a crazy sleep deprived decision.  Announce it to the world.  Catch a fleeting glimpse of reality and realise you have now committed yourself to posting every Friday.  Not only that, but the first one can't be some lame fluffy bunny story, because my readers would wonder if I had been lobotomised (hell I'd wonder).  Well in truth they probably already wonder, but have just been polite enough not to say.

Solution: Boobquake. The story that kept me laughing all week.  It's the logical choice as it has the Bedazzling built in, particularly if you chose to participate by embracing pasties as part of your official Boobquake uniform.

(Who knew you could buy hand crafted pastie tassels on Etsy, at Fondapetting Designs.  For those with Bob, check out the purple furry heart ones.  Now you can match your pasties to your feet. 
I am learning so much doing this post.)

The power of the mighty boob.  We all knew they were powerful, especially when combined with a Wonderbra or a well made corset.  But little did we know that the humble boob can actually cause earthquakes.  Yep, that's right all those jokes about "did the earth move for you" had absolutely nothing to do with the horizontal ramba, and everything to do with evil Boob power.

Take one Iranian cleric who shall remain nameless (as I can't be bothered looking up his name).  Combine with some highly original, mysoginistic comments.  Toss it on the airwaves.  Add in a bright young thing from Indiana.  And you have Boobquake.

Yes we immodest women are the cause of all the earthquakes on earth. Personally, I think there are many men out there with man boobs who should be taking some of the blame.

(Is Wonder Woman really a force for evil?)

In the name of science this theory was tested.  On the 26th of April 2010, women world wide heard the official call to arms

and let the girls out, all in the name of science.

Now as a science nerd myself, I am wondering if there is some sort of formula to this phenomenon.
  • Is it purely number of boobs, or is it size of boob?
  • Are 2 inches of cleavage worse than 1? 
  • Is it a question of symmetry or directionality? 
  • Do plastic fantastics outweigh the au natural?
  • What about if I choose to wear pasties? 
  • Are stars less points than tassels? 
  • Would the use of tassels cancel out the microscopic nature of my super twins? 
These are the questions that need to be answered people!!

As many of you will know I am not adverse to  "freeing the twins".  So I for one had my super twins decked out all day in the hopes that my two little peas could cause the next apocalypse.  Alas it all appears to be a storm in a D cup or in my case AA cup, well if I put in the chicken fillets.  The world didn't end.  Apparently there were a couple of quakes but none of any significance.  Apocalypse averted people we can all go home. Phew.

I love that Boobquake removed the religion and political aspects and focused on the simple absurdity of the original comment.  Lets face it, Iran hardly has the monopoly on these type of comments.  You could pretty much insert any fundamentalist religion in any country, into that story and find some mensa like anti-female (or gay, or race, or.....) statement.

An added level of hilarity was brought to the table by some groups of feminists who were up in arms at Boobquake, and formed Brainquake in response.  I'm all for the power of the sisterhood, but really?  Get a life ladies, being a feminist does not mean you have your sense of humour surgically removed.

There were also commentators who were angry that the Boobquake did not meet  scientific standards.  People the hypothesis was that boobs = earthquakes. Boobs? Earthquakes? Boobs! Earthquakes!  This is not supposed to be Nobel level science, this is Homer Simpson level science. 

I really love that there are official "I survived Boobquake 2010" t-shirts with 100% of profits going to charities like the Red Cross.  Science, humour and charity work, what more could you ask for on a Fabulous Friday.

So thank you Boobquake, for making my first Fabulous Friday so sparkly.  Humour truly is the solution to all life's problems.

I shall now pack away my miniature mammaries of mass destruction, and bid you all adieu.

Till next week.

Michelle :)

Side note:  I realised as I was writing that my boobs tend to insert themselves into a lot of my posts.   This is rather perplexing on a number of levels.  In reality they  have absolutely nothing to do with B.. He Who Shall Not Be Named, on Fabulous Friday.  They'd also be lucky to be called poffertjes (pancakes would be dreaming), and even a Wonderbra would simply shake its head and walk away, after a glance in their direction.  Small in size but big in attitude, watch out tectonic plates.


  1. I was just about to laugh at you for thinking it was Friday while, quite clearly, it was still Thursday, when I remembered you are in fact in Australia and it IS Friday there and the world isn't ALL in North America. :) Where it's Thursday. For another six hours.

    Boobs are all powerful though. As a lady who got a bra measurement recently and scored a 36D (36D worth of power) I can say I can quake an entire room if I dance in a tank top without a bra. Which I never do. So I'll trade you for the AA anyday.:)

  2. Love that you kicked if off with boobs and tassels! That whole booby quake stuff made news here too. Now I must go seek out the boob quake shirts.

  3. I unhooked my bra sometime in 2004 and oops! Sri Lanka got flooded by the tsunami.

  4. I've always had a fondness for tassels.

    Silly foreign men. Boobs = currency. As in, I've got the give me free stuff. BOOM!

  5. I've clearly been spending too much time reading only serious scientific papers and blogs and have missed the odd things going on in the world!! LOL I'll be giggling all morning now...while searching for boobquake shirts.

  6. I could never pull off these with my tiny ta ta's, lol.

  7. Ha ha ha... BOOBQUAKE... sorry still laughing over that one!

    Like the tassles; was always unsure about Wonder Woman -- she seemed a little too man-obsessed for a strong woman from the island of Amazonia; clearly written by stuck in pubescence straight white men.

    And your boobs insert themselves into your posts? Wow, they have minds and a keyboard? Awesome....

  8. OOH! Peaches and Herb!
    Sorry, I got distracted.
    And omg am really sorry about that whole awkward paddle thing with your teen- gah! So embarrassing- guess we know what HE's talking about at school today!
    Love you!

  9. Veg - that international time thing is a bitch. I knew someone was going to give me shit about it. I for one think that we should be the centre of the universe. But may I say 36D is very impressive.

    Lucy - Boobs and tassels are always very festive.

    Elie - I knew it, you and your trouble making boobs.

    OWO - I can see you as a tassels kind of girl. Maybe you could get some free tassels with your boobly power.

  10. Sunburnt - Are you suggesting that this isn't serious science? I can hear someone putting together their PhD proposal together right now.

    TGFTG - my other half says that more than a mouthful is a waste or good things come in small packages. Never underestimate the power of even the tiniest of boobs.

    Brahm - my boobs are very talented. Personally I loved Wonder Woman's lasoo/whip. But then again I'm a big Devo fan, "Whip it, Whip it good" LOL

    MaryMac - somehow I knew you'd be the kinda gal who could appreciate boob power LOL. Don't worry about the paddle, I had the 2 hr sex talk with him. I think that trumped any paddle discomfort.


All who are lovely enough to comment should be showered with cup cakes, glitter and macarons. I promise to use my spoon bending mind powers to try and get that happening for all who are lovely enough to share their words. Those who go the extra step to share posts should really get a free unicorn. Or at least the gift of finding the shortest and quickest line at the supermarket on a regular basis. xx

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