You are my Home.
I know that now. But I don't know if I truly knew that back when we said our I do's.
I had an idea. An idea created before I stepped into the world. An idea created before time and challenge could teach me what truly matters.
Only on reflection can I realise that what I thought was important back then, missed the mark. My heart was in the right place, it was just young and naive, kinda like the two of us. Not that I didn't love you, I most definitely did, but just that I didn't really know what that meant.
Time has never changed my feelings but it has reworked them. Moulding, reshaping, and kneading. It's pulled apart the pieces and reassembled them over and over. Distilling the original brew, until the true essence was finally found.
The place I feel safe. The place I feel loved. The place I feel comfortable. And the place where I don't have to hide.
You're there when I need you. Through the good and the bad. And no matter how rough it gets, if you're with me, it is always easier to bear.
You accept me, baggage and all. Pile upon pile of disappointments and hurts. Walls built to protect and to hide. But slowly you've unpacked them or put them in their place.
I know I'm not easy to live with. I can be opinionated and at times, unreasonable. My temper, well that may best be described as fiery. And I am stubborn to a fault. I expect you to read my mind and my moods like a fortune-teller, and get angry when you don't. I am more than a little left of centre and live in a world of my own half the time. And I know I frustrate you. Yet despite it all, you are here. Yet despite it all you still love me.
I owe you. More than I can ever express. The last seven years have been hard, not just for me, but for you. Life threw us a curveball and we had to learn to deal with it on the run.
There have been far more downs than ups. But in many ways, it is easier now. What could have broken, has instead strengthened. Things are more stable, even though the circumstances have become rockier.
After so long together there is a rhythm that is just ours. An unspoken language, knowing looks, the finishing of each others sentences, and laughing at shared jokes. All born by times passage and experiences shared.
You are both best friend and lover. Champion and partner in crime.
You reign in my frantic nature, whilst supporting me in all I want to do.
You know me better than anyone and for some baffling reason still, want to be with me.
I don't say thank you enough for all you have given. But I'm grateful every day that you are here.
Thank you for letting me know that it's okay to be me.
Thank you for being there to wipe my tears or hold me tight.
Thank you for making me laugh when I can least find something to laugh about.
Thank you for letting me know what it's like to truly feel loved and supported.
Thank you for two beautiful sons.
Thank you for letting me know family.
And thank you for letting me know the true meaning of the word home.
Because you are, and will always be, my home.
Happy 20th Wedding Anniversary, Mr Grumpy.
I loved The Cure's original version of this back in the day, but really love this cover by Adele.