Wednesday 19 August 2009

"Free the Twins"

Friendships are a weird duck. Sometimes you become friends with people who are a mirror image of you or, alternatively, are the polar opposite in every possible way, and yet others who walk the midlands, part mirror part opposite. All of them serve a purpose in your life. Sometimes you don't know what that purpose is until years later when it's long gone. They come and go, ever changing with the flow of time. Beginning and ending when you least expect it. I've never really had a huge bang up fight with someone to end a friendship, they just tend to dwindle away. It always reminds me of that poem by T S Elliot, The Hollow Men (1925):
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
One day you turn around and that person who was so much a part of your life is just....gone. Sometimes the friendships you thought strongest turn out to be the weakest; whilst those you least suspected become the real deal. Those little golden connections that happen unexpectedly, that make us realise that life is good and we're not alone in the world. These are the ones to nurture and treasure.

Bob has sent many of my "friends" running to the hills. Can't blame them I guess. Bob is a bit of a prick after all, but hey they get him for an hour or two I get him for life, suck it up you spineless gits! (Sorry still a little raw about a few people). I guess some people just have the constitution and moral fortitude of a wet tissue. I could bitch about the fair weather friends in my life (or no longer in my life as the case may be), but I don't want to give them any more of my time than they have given me. I will however, send one last big raspberry out into the cosmos to make contact with those fleet of foot "friends".

 Feel that raspberry, FEEL IT!!!!! .......................................... Ahhhhhhh, deep breath. That feels better.

Instead I want to spend my time giving a big shout out to those who are the gold in my life. One of the biggest and best surprises friendship wise, have been my physio chicks. The "Young Women's Group", or as we are now known the "Young and Gorgeous Women's Group" (see I'm not the only one with supermodel fantasies, though in this case there is no delusion involved!). After waaaaay too many excruciating months with my grey-haired homies, my amazing physio and social worker decided to create a group for young women in their 20's and 30's.

We all have Bob's in our lives, though their's go by names like Kev or Bazza or Dougie. All of us have hit a major bump in the road which sent us off into a ditch when we least expected it. Some of us have husband's and kids, some have a main squeeze, some are footloose and fancy free, and some are on the hunt to pick up. Some work, some don't, and some write stupid blogs. We are all so different yet have so much in common and it's like I found a big bunch of my long lost sisters that I never knew I'd lost let alone existed. We laugh, we cry, we bitch and we eat chocolate, and there is always coffee. Half an hour discussing the intricacies and virtues of brazilian waxing, this is not traditional physiotherapy! Oh yeah, we do real physio too, but the true therapy happens in the coffee room afterwards or chatting on the exercise bike or making testicle jokes on the fit balls.

This is rehabilitation as it should be. It's been a long hall for all of us and for some there is a long road ahead, you have to find a way to enjoy it, or we'd all give up. We like to think outside the square for our therapy. We've had parties, and pet therapy (my beautiful dogs, smelly but good therapy). Probably, the best example of our determination to enjoy and support each other has been "Free the Twins" day. The aim of this day was to support one of the girls who couldn't wear a bra due to injuries.

 So what do you do to support some one who has to be braless?

 What else, we all went braless (even our social worker, now that's dedication) in support (or is that without support) of her. Rather liberating really, and I'm sure it provided a years worth of excitement for some of the old guys at the hospital. I hope we weren't responsible for any coronaries that day. For some of us we got to reminisce about perky pre-kid boobs. For some we found that we had a new, previously unknown talent "musical boobs" which kept a groovy beat with each jump of hopscotch (our physio has a wicked sense of humour). For others we were amazed as our boobs did a Harry Houdini without support. (Don't panic though found them the next day in my Mr Berlie push up underwire, phew!). There was physio involved but for all of us it was about the laughter and sisterhood. Now this is therapy. This is friendship.

I never expected to find this kind of support, and definitely not at a physio class. My past experience with Merle and Beryl and Frank and the grey-haired gang, had not given me much to go on. However, I do thank them for expanding my knowledge on lawn bowls, support hose and the blue rinse and don't forget their lengthy treatise on what happened "back in [their] day...."! All jokes aside, I have been lucky enough to meet a great group of girls who just get it, no explanation needed. A group of girls who know how to laugh. Who make you feel normal in the most abnormal of circumstances, and have a true and deep appreciation of all things Johnny Depp!

So I say, shout it from the rooftops:

"FREE THE TWINS" girlfriends, and big fat raspberries to the rest.

Michelle :)


  1. Michelle....You are truly amazing...I love your Blog...You make me laugh..cry and smile all at the same time!!!!!
    Your truly must walk around in my head..sifting through those thought's...the good and the bad..
    But that's ok keep going..Your better at working them out than me..You make sense of everything i think and feel.... :0) :0) :0)
    Thank you again Michelle keep up the good work!!!!

  2. Michelle...I found your blog via facebook and I am sitting here in tears. I cannot wear a bra due to my costochondritis...and for you and your friends to be silly and amazing and "let em fly" for a day just brought me to tears. =) Love it, keep on's wonderful! Thank you for sharing!

  3. Hi Lucy we all need to be able to "free the twins" however that works for each person. We've also done gorilla legs for those who can't shave their legs. I am so lucky with my physio girls. I love that you have Bart, actually that sounds wrong but you know what I mean. Naming it gives you back a little bit of control and it's hard to feel daunted by something called Bart or Bob, or as some of my other friends have, Dick and Joe! Maybe we can send the boys off on a fishing trip for the weekend so we can have a bit of respite! Hang in there. Have started reading your blog, like it!!


All who are lovely enough to comment should be showered with cup cakes, glitter and macarons. I promise to use my spoon bending mind powers to try and get that happening for all who are lovely enough to share their words. Those who go the extra step to share posts should really get a free unicorn. Or at least the gift of finding the shortest and quickest line at the supermarket on a regular basis. xx

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