Mr Grumpy: "Well, you don't have to write a 1,000 word post every time"
Me: "But that's the way I roll, baby"
So his choice,
“I don’t know about this, but I’d like to.”
Why? Because I don't know how to write a short but still interesting and read-worthy blog post, but I (or so he tells me) would like to learn how.
Pithy really isn't my style. I don't really see the world in black and white. And tend to be one of those annoying people who gets stuck on tangents hence the prominent use of the phrase "but I digress" throughout this blog.
I blame the brain fog. I know I had a brain that was capable of short succinct writing at one point. I've
Maybe if I had time, like a week or six, I could cut back on what I write. Edit it within an inch of it's life until I have the perfectly formed 600 words of witty, educational and entertaining prose. But the pea-souper that currently resides in the space formally occupied by my brain, is not that accommodating.
I am distracted by bright shiny objects on a regular basis. My thinking is more of the tortoise, than the hare variety. My memory more akin to Guy Pearce's in Memento. That damn pesky need for blood to flow to the blob of grey matter slopping around in my skull, causes all sorts of problems. And don't get me started on those unpredictable adrenaline surges that leave you feeling like you must move or you'll go insane from the internal twitchiness, even though you are beyond exhausted, and fracture your thought processes beyond repair.
What's a girl to do. Personally, I'm thinking eat way too much chocolate and tap away at the keyboard until my fingers are naught but bloody stumps. Surely somewhere between the first 500 words and the last 500, some form of coherent thought will emerge. Plus, those of us with the old hypoxic brain seem to develop an amazing skill: the ability to read each others words and find the sum of all the disparate parts, and understand exactly what each of us are saying.
Okay I'm going to stop now before Mr Grumpy looks over and makes some more sarcastic comments like,
"You're still typing?"
Yes dear I'm still typing, you are soooo observant!
Okay so after that great mix of randomness I will now head off and stick my feet up a wall and wait for my limited blood supply to glug back down to my brain. But at least I managed three days of blog posts in a row. I'll put that one in the win column for today.
Have I learnt to write a shorter post? Probably not. Maybe I can start a new meditation mantra. Good bye "So Hum". Hello "Short Post".
Damn, now all I can think of is Short Round, from Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom. There really is no hope.
PS Now Mr Grumpy says "Just what your readers want. A for-the-sake-of-it post with no entertainment value whatsoever". Bwahahahahahaha he's such a funny man.
PPS As I go to put the laptop aside to eat dinner, "Have you pressed save yet? You don't want to lose that literary masterpiece. It's definitely Pulitzer Prize worthy". The man is on fire tonight.
Earlier Instalments of NHBPM
Day I: Why do I write about my health.
Day II: Find a quote and use it as inspiration.