Monday, 2 April 2012
Can you please get your shit together? You see I had a plan. Well many plans, actually. More than I can count really and you seem hell bent on laying a huge steaming nard on all of them, even the most mundane.
You see after my last little break I was going to get my shit together and come back to blogging all revitalised. Body rested. Mind rested. Soul and spirit put back together with a blob of used Blu-tack and some strategically placed duct tape. (If you've ever watched Myth Busters you know that'll fix it).
But instead of returning triumphant astride my trusty stead, head of my slain dragon held high in my hand, I am bed bound once more. Taken out by a bug that refuses to die. This was not part of the plan, body. And I am not happy with this situation.
You see the regular crap I can handle. Well sort of. Okay, I can rock denial with the best of them. But added crap seems a tad unfair. And added crap in the form of atomic mucus, hacking coughs and sweat that smells like the distilled essence of a thousand gym socks, is really not fair. Or sexy. Poor Mr Grumpy.
The whole mind over matter really doesn't seem to be working too well. I have been using my limited, though hard working, neurons to try and get you back in line and you just keep giving me the middle finger at every opportunity.
I would very much appreciate it if you could stop being a pratt and let me live life, even a little. We don't really have to like each other, but we can still work together. It might even turn out to be mutually advantageous. It's not much to ask really. So please body, can we give peace a chance?