(Cyan-ide - Rachel Faith Cox)
Today's contribution for Exploring Dysautonomia Through the Arts, is from Rachel. I love Rachel's picture and accompanying poem and once again it feels like slipping into familiar clothes the themes are so close to home.
Hi, I'm Rachel, I have
Pandysautonomia and live in New Zealand. I am a Mum of two and a wife
too. My picture is called Cyan-ide. It’s a play on the colour
cyan, blue being our awareness colour for Dysautonomia Awareness
Month. Cyanide because sometimes it feels like I have been
poisoned slowly. My form of Dysautonomia is progressive, so that
relentless decline and fall feeling is often with me. I drew this
with pencil, ink pen, felt pen and coloured pencils. Anything I could
find easily in the kids’ homework supplies drawer. I find so often
that my creativity is drained by the efforts it takes to set up
supplies and get it all ready to go. But this project had a deadline
which was good motivation to get it done, somehow! I wanted to show
how Dysautonomia feels. In those moments when your family have gone
to work and school and you don’t have to have your brave face on
anymore. I wanted to show how trapped and held we feel when we wake
to face another day of it.
I also wanted to write a poem to
accompany the picture, but the poem took longer to put together. Finally, today, after three straight days in bed, I got it
done. Thanks Michelle for waiting for me to send it to you.
I've called the poem Free Fall and it is really an exploration of
the desperate relationship I have with sleep. With hope. With the
difficult thoughts. I am usually more upbeat in my writing, but it
has been a true release to have this opportunity to express myself
and my feelings so freely.
Remember to head on over here to donate to my Clicking My Heels For Dysautonomia, raising money for the Greg Page Fund for Orthostatic Intolerance and Dysautonomia research, at The Baker IDI. Thanks to the generosity of many we've already raised over $3,200, keep donating and hopefully we can reach $10,000.
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