Monday, 4 October 2010

FATigue.

 (photo)

Once upon a time I'd love to have a sleep in.  To wake up, look over at the clock and see that it was 1pm.  1pm!  Oh how decadent I felt.  Let them eat cake! (and preferably in bed).  To lie there in comfort, whilst the rest of the world went on, stuck in regimented adherence to every tick of the clock.  A joy.  A forbidden pleasure.  One all the sweeter for remembering how much you'd be yelled at for being lazy as a child if you slept past 10am.  Might as well have dessert before dinner or chocolate pudding for breakfast.  The halcyon days of adulthood and all it's glorious freedoms.

But now.

Ugh!

My bed and I are spending far to much time together.  And whilst there is quantity, the quality is missing.

Take away choice and the excitement fades.

Take away choice and the elicit pleasure of sleeping in on a workday becomes a chore.

Fatigue has bitten me on the arse these past few weeks and there are no signs that it is getting ready to leave.  It's not like I don't experience fatigue on a regular basis, because I do.  It's part and parcel of living with Bob.  The medical sites compare the quality of a Bobette's life with that of someone with congestive heart failure.  Yay!  Apparently it takes us three times the energy just to stand as a healthy person, so my baseline is pretty low to begin with.  But dammit, I am starting to think that I'm carrying not only my own unmanageable boxes of fatigue, but the boxes of everyone in the surrounding district.


I know the change in weather is partly to blame for my current bout of uberexhaustion.  Spring lulled me into a false sense of security.  I was enjoying the sunshine and the mild weather.  The new leaves slowly unfurling in the garden.  The randy birds fornicating left, right, and centre, in my backyard.  I actually sat out in my garden chair and caught a couple of rays.  But then those couple of pesky degrees were added to the weather.  It was a balmy 19C (66.2F for my international readers) yesterday and it sucked the wind right out of me.  I am lucky that I live in the hills surrounding the fair city of Melbourne as we are always 4 or 5 degrees cooler than the city.  But turning into a wet sock at 19C does not bode well for the Summer.  Me thinks my heat intolerance may be getting a wee bit worse.

Being sucker punched by fatigue makes life exhausting.

Walking to the loo = exhausting.

Having a shower = exhausting.

Getting dressed = exhausting.

Standing up to make my morning sanity coffee = exhausting.

Yelling at the kids = exhausting.

Lifting arms = exhausting.

Moving legs = exhausting.

Breathing = exhausting.

Fatigue sucks.

FATtigue.  It has the "fat" built right in and it's that damn artery clogging, heart attack causing, transfat.  Might as well chuck a blended BigMac in an IV and stick it straight in my arm, it could hardly slow me down any more than my current snail lifestyle.

I'm starting to think that the universe is sending me sarcastic messages.  Good old Dictionary.com sent me "Indefatigable", as my word of the day.  Indefafrickentigable.  You've got to be kidding me?  Whilst fatigue may have the "fat" built in, Dictionary.com definitely has the "dic' built in.

So back to bed I go.  Exhausted despite sleeping most of yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.  No doubt I'll be exhausted when I wake up again.  Woo Hoo Spring. Woo fricken Hoo Summer to come. 


The yawning Michelle :)

Running up that Hill, Placebo (2003), because that's how I feel at the moment.   I'm old enough to remember when Kate Bush originally released this, and may have the cassette gathering dust somewhere, but I do love Placebo and the weirdly attractive Brian Moloko.

14 comments:

  1. Ahh sorry to hear! I agree pots comes w fatigue anyway, we don't need any extra! I go through phases where I either can't sleep at all, or all my body wants is to sleep. Hope it passes soon!

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  2. Look at that dictionary.com fucker getting all dictatorial. The good news is you can play a kazoo flat on your back. Even if you use your mouth!

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  3. Ah Fatigue.... it is the pimple on Satan's bottom... I'm over it too!

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  4. Fatigue is the pits Michelle, it feels like a constant for me. And FATigue does bring on the fat, because you are too FATigued to do anything but sit, hense the fat!

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  5. I'm sorry you're feeling so fatigued! Being in the States, I'm so glad that it's fall, and cooling off. It almost (note, I said *almost*) makes up for the really horrible summer with over 60 days of <90F (or around 32C), and many of the days had a heat index of around 115F (46C). Damned humidity!

    Anyways, I am hoping your summer isn't nearly as bad, and I see about sending some of my upcoming winter to you.

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  6. I too am old enough to remember Kate Bush original.

    I missed all of yesterday in bed asleep. Husband is finding me tiresome. ha I am finding me tiresome. Sleeping is tiring me out. I keep disappearing to sleep more. How weird you said about heart failure I lay in bed yesterday wondering if that is in fact what I do have. Only the people in bloggy land that 'get it' get that I am not a hypochondriac.

    Exhaustion sucks. Too friggin tired to wash hair. If anyone replies to this and mentions good sleep hygiene I will scream loudly. Do people not get it. If that had worked i would not be writing this.

    You write how I feel.

    xoxoooxox

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  7. Oh, I sweat for you if 19C is wearing you down! We here in SW US desert are (hopefully) finishing our summer soon. Today is the first day where the high didn't reach 100F/40+C. People here laugh as I scurry in my slow fashion under an umbrella with ice packs on my neck to the store from the parking spot I will circle the lot to get closest to the door. But as our season winds down, I have sympathy to share for someone's whose summer is just starting.

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  8. I logged onto my blogger dashboard with the thoughts of what I was going to blog about today. Just a few minutes prior I had been shedding a few tears over how fatigued and sore I am while trying to get things done that my husband didn't get done over our busy weekend. Sure enough, you had just written this post yesterday. So, needless to say, I completely feel where you're coming from.
    I definitely feel as though FATigue has set in on my end (my back-end that is). Being a former-runner (of half marathons at that), I used to be in excellent shape. Ever since "bob" set in last Dec., I have gained at least 20lbs. Bleh! So, as usual, you are definitely not alone.

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  9. Oh Girl...

    I have become increasingly frustrated with of my lack of energy and going to bed BEFORE my children, but I know this is a temporary thing and it will pass as my body heals.

    So a taste of what you are going through. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you knowing this is the status quo.

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  10. Hi Michelle
    I discovered your Blog while doing research on the internet. I am also an Australian mother of 4, who is almost 36 years old who has "Bob". I love your witty way of describing how I feel. I have been diagnosed for some 8 years now, since the birth of my 3rd daughter.

    I can relate to how you feel and am glad to of found your blog as I am going through a particularly bad patch now and as I am recovering from a 5 day migraine I can't type a lot right now. I would love to get in contact with you, as I don't have my own blog. I know how hard it is to find a friend our age who understands what it's like to live like this. I will try and tell you my story another day when I'm feeling a little better.

    Sending you healing & more importantly coping thoughts

    Jodie

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  11. Ash - why are the only options wide awake or coma? Stupid disorder.

    Elly Lou - dictionary.com is the antichrist, or at least one of those people who push in front of you when you're lining up at the deli. Pure evil.

    Diana - fatigue does have that whole zitty butt thing built in.

    Michele - I know. Not just tired but muffin top too. You suck universe.

    Erika - I'll take that Winter any time you want to post it. :)

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  12. Achelois - washing your hair is over-rated, I'd much rather have a manky birds nest on my head and simply listen to Kate Bush.

    Sandra - 40C ugh! I grew up in an area where that was our normal summer temps (hit 50C once). Now I can't imagine living in that type of climate again.

    Robin - it seems like such a constant for us. And I get the weight gain. I was the same weight from 18 - 33, then I got sick and now I've stopped weighing myself as it's too depressing.

    Kelley - you have had a shitload of shit on your plate of late I think you have earned the right to hibernate for the next 6 months.

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  13. Jodie - hey there fellow Aussie. We are few and far between. Did you know that there is an Aus FB support group now? Here's the link http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=270234122634

    You often here of a link between pregnancy and symptoms starting, strange. That wasn't the case for me, still don't really know why. Glad you stopped by and hope the migraines have passed. :)

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  14. I remember talking to a doctor about fatigue several years ago. His response to me was, "Well, we're all tired." It's weird when I think about how fatigue started changing my life. There would be certain things I'd like to do but I'd be too tired and I'd think I'd do them next week when I have more energy. Then one day I realized that it's been over a year since I went to this movie theater or seen this person.

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All who are lovely enough to comment should be showered with cup cakes, glitter and macarons. I promise to use my spoon bending mind powers to try and get that happening for all who are lovely enough to share their words. Those who go the extra step to share posts should really get a free unicorn. Or at least the gift of finding the shortest and quickest line at the supermarket on a regular basis. xx