Forget blueberries and salmon. Apparently Chiko Rolls are the new super food.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the culinary pinnacle that is the Chiko Roll (I don't think they are sold outside of Australia), it is an Australian classic like a lamington or vegimite. They are sold primarily in fish and chip shops and every road side petrol station in Australia. They are a bit like a giant spring roll, deep fried and filled with a cabbage and miscellaneous "goop". The advertising posters in the shop are a fantastic tribute to Australian Ockerism. Its always a scantily or leather clad, big-breasted woman on a motor bike with a Chiko Roll in her hand. Its all very phalic. But I digress. (Wow who ever thought I would spend so much time describing a Chiko Roll, that's 10 minutes of my life I can never get back. I think the word "Sad" comes to mind).
When I went for my first tilt-table test I was given a list of foods by the cardiologist running the test. There was a speal about the benefits of salt in the diet, "Salt good blah blah blah. Eat more salt blah blah blah". Then there was a list of salty foods with data about the amount of salt they contained. Ok sounds good. Scanning down the list:
cornflakes 1 1/3 cups 240mg,
crushed tin tomatoes 100 gm 800mg salt.......and then
Chiko Roll 180gm 620mg salt.
This was then followed by:
donar kebab 400gm 1200mg, and
chinese sweet and sour 200gm 900mg salt. What the...?
In what freaky bizarro world is a cardiologist giving me a list of food recommendations that contains Chiko Rolls and donar kebabs? (For those who are interested in the salt content of spam or Burger Rings, I'll put up a copy of the whole list, if I ever work out how to scan items that is). This simply confirms the freakiness of Bob as a disorder.
When I went into hospital for intensive rehab they put me in with the cardio/respitory group. The lovely OT came in to give the introductory speal and tell me about the information groups they had especially relating to diet and exercise. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face when she realised that I had to increase my salt intake and I showed her the list from the cardiologist. She handed me the sheets of info, mumbled something about me probably not needing to attend the class and walked out. Yep that's right, freak girl in the hospital!!
Those of us with Bob are the antithesis of normal patients. What is bad for most, is good for us. I think I am single handedly saving the salt industry and doing my bit for the GFC. Plus its a damn good excuse for scoffing down a huge pile of fish and chips with extra salt, fully prescribed by a cardiologist!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. I don't think so. Take one greasy, salty Chiko Roll and call me in the morning!