I'm a Salty Wench

Bob continues to go all WWF on my body.  Brain cells have left the building, along with my bp, pulse pressure, and the ability to ablute like a normal person.  So I thought I'd put up the post I initially tried to schedule pre-hospital admission.  Obviously my brain was firing on all cylinders that day as it failed to post. 

One of the strangest parts of having Bob, is our need for salt.  People look at you crazy when you say you have a health condition where you must have salt.  And not just a little salt.  As my cardiologist says, "if you can still taste your food, you're not having enough salt".  Whilst the rest of the population is doing everything in their power to decrease their salt intake to aid vascular health, we Bobettes are mugging cows for their salt licks.

There is only one form of Bob that should avoid salt, Hyperadrenergic POTS, but the rest of us need to live on a saltpan.  I still remember the look on the poor OT's face when I was in hospital and she handed me the stock standard cardiac health book, with it's anti-salt campaign.  It's hard for others to understand.  When I tell my GP that I often just have a teaspoon of salt in the morning she looks horrified.  Yes GP I am living in crazy town and it's full of salt loving freaks.

One of my medications even requires salt to work.  It's on the little information sheet that comes with the bottle.  I only scanned the sheet so I'm not sure if it mentioned tequila and lemon as an additional requirement, but it only seems logical that they'd also make it work better.

I collect salt sachets everywhere I go.  A bowl of sachets on a shop counter really is an invitation to take what you need.  Just because my need is larger than most, shouldn't stop me from clearing them out.  And really I'm performing a public service by removing the salty temptation from others who need to lead a salt-free life.  It's all very Mother Teresa.

I carry a stash of salt sachets everywhere these days.  In my purse, in my handbag, in the glovebox of the car.  You just never know when you're going to need that salt hit to get your bp up.  I don't advise keeping the sachets in your coin purse though.  I know from my own early rookie mistake, that the gross metallic taste can permeate those little paper packages and make you gag.

(My purse salt sachet stash)

I have a good knowledge of emergency salt sources for the times where my brain fog has let me leave the house without a single grain.  Burger Rings (1140mg per 100gm) are one of the best sources.  They have the added bonus of making me feel like I'm 12 again, especially when I wear them as rings on my fingers.  And I like to think of a packet of Thins (596mg per 100gms) as purely medicinal.   Not to mention my encyclopaedic knowledge of the most salty foods eg fetta and miso.  And the joy of brine.  Mmmmm......brine.  How I love thee.

(And now the Lindt gods have smiled on me and combined chocolate with salty goodness.  

This can now qualify as purely medicinal.  Thank you.  Oh thank you.)

I make my own flavoured salts which I use at home.  Herbed salts are what I mostly make, but you can add pretty much anything.  And it's so easy that you can make it with complete success in the midst of a shocker of a brain fog.

All you need is:

• An old coffee grinder.  You really need to dedicate this grinder to future salt production unless you like your caffeine with a salty/herby/spicey aftertaste.  I found this out the hard way after a less than pleasant mug of salty, fennel seed coffee.
• Good quality salt.  When I can afford it I buy a good quality sea salt flake or a Murray River Pink Salt.  Ironic that the area of my youth that was decimated by salinity, now produces tasty salt to sprinkle on my fries. 
• Herbs dried or fresh. My favourite is rosemary, but thyme is a close second. You can use a softer leaf herb such as basil or oregano but the moisture content can make it a bit too moist if you're not careful.
• Spices.  Fennel seed is great.  As are everything from chilli flakes to cumin.  And Szechuan pepper is yummo on calamari.
• Citrus rind.  Any citrus will work, though I have a preference for lemons or Tahitian limes.  Use a microplane (which maybe my favourite kitchen gadget ever) to collect the rind.

I don't really measure quantities as I am more of a measure by sight and feel, cook.  But if I had to guess it's be about:

• 1/3 to 1/2 cup salt

then depending on what flavour you want, add

• 1tbsp fresh herbs
• 1 tsp spice/dried herbs
• 1/2tbsp citrus rind

Then it's simply mix it all together in the coffee grinder.  It also lasts forever thanks to salt's natural preservative qualities.  

My favourite is rosemary and lemon salt.  It's like a little taste of heaven when sprinkled on some home baked potato chips ('fries' for my Nth American friends).

I do have an emergency commercial rosemary sea salt flake by Falksalt.  Which looks a bit like fish food but tastes divine. Must be my Swedish roots that make me love it so.  Kind of why I like smorgasboards, gravad lax, ABBA, and Greta Garbo movies.

(I really want these salt and pepper shakers from here)

Cheers
Michelle :)

And what would any discussion about salt be without a classic Salt-N-Pepa tune.

Chiko Roll: the new Super Food.

Forget blueberries and salmon. Apparently Chiko Rolls are the new super food.


For those of you who are unfamiliar with the culinary pinnacle that is the Chiko Roll (I don't think they are sold outside of Australia), it is an Australian classic like a lamington or vegimite. They are sold primarily in fish and chip shops and every road side petrol station in Australia. They are a bit like a giant spring roll, deep fried and filled with a cabbage and miscellaneous "goop". The advertising posters in the shop are a fantastic tribute to Australian Ockerism. Its always a scantily or leather clad, big-breasted woman on a motor bike with a Chiko Roll in her hand. Its all very phalic. But I digress. (Wow who ever thought I would spend so much time describing a Chiko Roll, that's 10 minutes of my life I can never get back. I think the word "Sad" comes to mind).



When I went for my first tilt-table test I was given a list of foods by the cardiologist running the test. There was a speal about the benefits of salt in the diet, "Salt good blah blah blah. Eat more salt blah blah blah". Then there was a list of salty foods with data about the amount of salt they contained. Ok sounds good. Scanning down the list:

cornflakes 1 1/3 cups 240mg,
crushed tin tomatoes 100 gm 800mg salt.......and then

Chiko Roll 180gm 620mg salt.

This was then followed by:

donar kebab 400gm 1200mg, and
chinese sweet and sour 200gm 900mg salt. What the...?

In what freaky bizarro world is a cardiologist giving me a list of food recommendations that contains Chiko Rolls and donar kebabs? (For those who are interested in the salt content of spam or Burger Rings, I'll put up a copy of the whole list, if I ever work out how to scan items that is). This simply confirms the freakiness of Bob as a disorder.

When I went into hospital for intensive rehab they put me in with the cardio/respitory group. The lovely OT came in to give the introductory speal and tell me about the information groups they had especially relating to diet and exercise. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face when she realised that I had to increase my salt intake and I showed her the list from the cardiologist. She handed me the sheets of info, mumbled something about me probably not needing to attend the class and walked out. Yep that's right, freak girl in the hospital!!

Those of us with Bob are the antithesis of normal patients. What is bad for most, is good for us. I think I am single handedly saving the salt industry and doing my bit for the GFC. Plus its a damn good excuse for scoffing down a huge pile of fish and chips with extra salt, fully prescribed by a cardiologist!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. I don't think so. Take one greasy, salty Chiko Roll and call me in the morning!

Cheers
Michelle