Pink blossoms and buzzing bees: 30 Minute Poetry

(It really feels like Spring when the blossoms start appearing.)

I hit a rough patch, well more than one really. For a while it's been rough patch, after rough patch. You can only soldier on for so long when the rough is all you have, day after day for months without end. A post or three back I mentioned how I was at that point. You know the one. The one where it's just enough. Where what you could deal with yesterday, is simply too much today. And in the midst of that fog of struggle and wanting to build a pillow fort and simply disappear from the world for a while. When rough textures and sharp edges are all there are as far as they eye can see. Lovely people both here on the blog and over on FB reached out. Messages, lovely comments, silly memes and photos to make me laugh, songs to lift or just because. And it's hard to explain how much they mean. That people you've never met in the flesh, care. And not only care, but take their limited energy to tell you they care. And suddenly you find yourself emerging from your dark place and making inroads back into the world. Because there are others who have your back and offer their shoulders without expectation or caveats. So I wanted to say thank you to everyone for pulling me out of my hole to see the world again. Spring in the world around me and Spring in my spirit to match.

This one is my thank you to you all. xx

Thank you for the wind

The gentle caress on my cheek

as I sit eyes closed on the chair in the corner of my yard

Cool and invigorating

Cleansing and revitalising

The breath of life

The breath of love

The breath that joins us all

Thank you for the birds

That flit and soar

Shadows racing across the ground

Flashes of colour in the sky

That sing of love and joy

Joy for the sun

Joy for the small berries emerging on the branches

And the nectar in the tiny blooms

Joy for the myriad of small insects that emerge at the first hint of warmth and renewal.

Thank you for the budding leaves

The tiny bunches with vibrant red edges

slowly unfolding with each added ray of sun.

A tight bump on the sides of stark branches

soon one, then two, then three, are seen fluttering in the breeze

Chaperoned by light pink blossoms and buzzing bees.

The eye once attuned to their presence can't help but see them at every turn

Thank you for the sun

That warms my face

And winds it's way into my blood

To chase away the cold and heat the heart

To uncurl the spirit from it's hiding place

To stretch out to the world around

And feel it all

Familiar and new bound together in joy.

Thank you for the moon

Rising in the east from crescent to full

shining just enough to illuminate the world

To drain the colour but light the way

To show the shadows of the life of day

The outline of the trees, the swings across the street, and the chairs in the yard.

Echos of the day passed, the day soon to be.

Thank you for the stars

Strewn across the sky by a casual hand

Beauty in their disdain for order and regimental adherence.

Points of light in the darkness

To be spied when lying in the dark places

Look up and focus

On one just one.

Claim it as your own to shine for you

But to be shared with all.

Thank you for helping me see

Thank you for making me feel

Thank you.

Michelle

Now to sit out back and enjoy and appreciate a bit of it on this lovely Spring day.

Remember to head on over here to donate to my Clicking My Heels For Dysautonomia, raising money for the Greg Page Fund for Orthostatic Intolerance and Dysautonomia research, at The Baker IDI. Thanks to the generosity of many we've already raised over $2,600, keep donating and hopefully we can reach $10,000.

Rainbows and sunsets

There are moments in time that seem to collide perfectly, inexplicably, and unexpectedly. Sometimes you don't know that you need one of those moments. You don't know that you need that little light in the dark. Or that the dark even exists. Because you stuff it down. "It" being you. You stuff you down. Deep down. Hidden behind a wall made of the necessity and dross, of day-to-day living. You push yourself further and further down because life says you must solider on. Because the morning shows are full of inspirational people who are worse off than you. Because you feel that you aren't entitled to simply feel the moment. And because if you truly face what is happening to your body, you don't know if you'll be left standing or be reduced to a heap on the floor.

And then an evening comes along. An unremarkable evening. After an unremarkable day. Just another in the long list of hard days that seem to be more the norm than the exception of late. Ordinary. Because life with chronic illness, means that illness becomes ordinary. Until a moment begins. It's first stirrings unrecognised. It's importance hidden because your mind is stuck in the rhythm of the metronome. One foot in front of the other. A slow spirit movement. So far removed from the mind, that its sweetness is not noticed or appreciated until you are in its midst. A moment that will be best appreciated in the days that follow.

And then you look out your kitchen window and see a rainbow poking through the remnants of a late afternoon storm. And something is different. For that one moment you ignore the fact that the window remains unwashed, a fact that you have beat yourself up over for the past few weeks. You ignore the noises in the background. The water boiling on the stove fades. The chopping board and the mix of ingredients on the bench sit ignored. The moment has begun.

It had been one of those days that brings to my mind The Build Up, from when we lived in Darwin. Seasons run differently in the tropics. The Dry, The Build Up, The Wet, The Let Down. Seasons felt in the blood, but The Build Up most of all. When the monsoon clouds would roll in threatening. The air would crush. We would sit on the cusp of a downpour, waiting for relief. Hour upon hour. Boiling black clouds would tease. And then they would be gone. No rain. And no relief. For month after month. Tearing at the nerves. And now, in this little corner of the country, far removed from the tropics, that feeling was once more present. The air had been thick and heavy all day. The winds blowing from the north were hot. Standing outside a physical assault. My knees would threaten to buckle unless I retreated to the ground or stepped quickly back into the air conditioned confines of the house. The clouds kept threatening, but only a few drops would fall, to make the air humid and claustrophobic.

And then there was a burst of heavy rain. Short and loud.

And out my kitchen window a rainbow appeared. Not much of a rainbow. A coloured smudge in the sky. A double-take required to ensure it wasn't the product of my imagination.

But there it was. A little, curved line of colours stretching out across the rumbling sky.

And I was taken by a desperate need to go outside.

Pots were left to boil. Food ignored on the bench. That need eclipsed them all.

And there it was. Shining as the evening darkened. Defying the charcoal sky that surrounded.

It was right. It was all and everything. Seven lines of colour in the midst of seemingly overwhelming dark. I breathed it in. I felt it in my bones. And the beginnings of a smile could be felt.

As it faded in the darkness I turned and was rewarded once more.

I stood in the remnants of the storm. Watching the sun retreat from the day and feeling the earth move under my bare feet. Damp grass below and wet leaves murmuring above. Small cleansing drops from the heavens, wiping away layers of darkness and dust. And I felt lighter for the first time in months.

A first breath or a moments reprieve. Either way it is treasured. I'll hold it tight and bind it to my battered soul. I'll keep it close so I can look upon it at need. And remember the colours in the sky that wiped away the burden of an unrelenting, breaking body. If only for a moment.

Moments upon moments. Moments I needed, even though I'd never even known of that need. Moments whose importance would have been overlooked a day earlier, or day later. Timing is everything. I was ready. And so I saw what was before me.

Serendipity at it's finest.

Rainbows and sunsets. Colours. Light in the dark. A promise of hope and renewal. A reminder that moments occur when you are ready for them. A reminder to embrace them when they do. A hope that all of us find our moments.

Michelle