Highlights.

This has been a week of highlights in Rustyville.    Here are but a few.


Have used Charlie Sheen as my new barometer of crazy, and have decided that on the newly devised Charlie Sheen Insanity Scale (CSIS) I am completely sane.

• Not to self:  using a man who states that he is not bipolar but "bi-winning" to gauge my own sanity may in and of itself suggest that I am well on my way to Loonyville.

Sang badly and loudly to Evanescence in the car. 

• Note to self: don't listen to dramatic emo music whilst already in the "I'm the worlds worst mum" state of mind.  The sight of my sobbing, snot-smeared face, belting out misheard lyrics may qualify as road hazard to other drivers.

Started, yet again (100th times the charm), to write a book (stop laughing Mr Grumpy).  First paragraph alluded to cousin loving in my pre-electricity familial tree, and a parental "lie back and think of England" sexual attitude, as potential causes for my ill health.   I'm sure my parents will be proud.

• Note to self : check if it's possible to add banjo music to a book?

Have repeatedly used the phrase "but um" in conversation when words and conscious thought have failed me.  Children think this hilarious, thanks to an episode of  How I met your mother, where one of the characters said "but um" so often on her TV show, it was turned into a drinking game by college students.
For example:
Me:  "Eldest Monkey Boy!!!" (screeched out loud enough for my deaf and confused elderly neighbour to hear).
EMB: "Yes mommy dearest" (must stop threatening children about using wire coat hangers).
Me: "I need you to.............but um".
EMB: "But um!" (snigger)
Me: "Stop that!  Now, but um.....  Damn it!"
EMB:  "But um!" (more sniggering)
Me: "That's not funny.  Now, but um..... Damn it!"
EMB: (rolls on floor, holding sides whilst laughing and shouting) "BUT UM, BUT UM, BUT UM".
Me:  "Fine.  You are now grounded forever.  Right. (deep breath) Now, but um......Arghhhhhhhhh", (storm off dramatically).

• Not to self:  purchase a DeLorean and flux capacitor, to enable current self to go back in time and slap younger self for thinking having children would be a wonderful idea.

Have only just remembered I have a Twitter account.  Am amazed that people have decided to follow me even though my last conscious tweet was on the 9th of January.  Thankfully, I had linked up my FB page to automatically tweet my frequent witticisms, so it looks like I am a social media savvy tweeter.  Rather than a sad old woman who keeps forgetting that she has a Twitter account.  Though I am just a little concerned that Twitter keeps suggesting I follow Justin Beiber and Kanye West and some strange woman who wants to show me her breasts.  Explain yourself Twitter.

• Not to self: must discover what else am I forgetting. Lets see.  Wearing underwear?  Check.  Used BO basher? Check.  Fed spawn of Satan/children? Must have, can't hear whinging. Check.

Have attempted to answer the multitude of emails, messages and comments that have been building up, thanks to the "Vacant" sign that has taken up residence inside my head.  I'm really not trying to be a rude cow by answering in such a tardy manner.  Just when you are down to one brain cell, who refuses to work overtime and insists on taking every last second of her allotted coffee breaks, it can be a slow process. Especially if you want a coherent response.  However, if a response composed completely of neologisms is okay, let me know and I'll send one off immediately. I'm sure at my current speedy pace of one response a day I will get there. 

• Note to self: must get around to hiring Eunice a PA.  Hot, shirtless, cabana boys are encouraged to apply.

Have alternated between staring at the ceiling for hours on end without the pleasant distraction of considering how I can get away with smothering Mr Grumpy in his blissful sleep (he was away for work), and coma sleep.  As usual the universe has delighted in making fun of my sleep challenged life by sending this link my way.  And yes it is in Finish, or Finishian, or whatever the correct term is.  Yes universe send me a link to artsy pictures of  Finlandites (it's my blog and I will make up words if I want) blissfully asleep, bastard.

• Note to self: must stop thinking that the universe is so obsessed with me that it would go out of it's way to mock me on a regular basis or I will end up at the 'bat shit crazy' end of the CSIS.   

 

• Extra Note to self:  stop watching any TV show, radio broadcast, newspaper column, blog, or internet site that makes reference to Charlie Sheen in any way.  Must make life a Charlie Sheen Free-Zone. Though I am kinda interested in how he cured himself with his "brain".  Maybe I should send Eunice round to his place for a few pointers.  On second thought, he's liable to make Eunice his next 'goddess' and I couldn't put the old gal through that.

So dear readers, what delights have been the highlights of your week?  I hope you too are livin la vida loca*.

Bring on the margaritas.
Michelle :)

* Should I add that my eldest loved Ricky Martin when he was little and knew all the words and dance steps to his early albums? I'm sure he wont  mind me sharing.  He also had a thing for Shania Twain's I feel Like A Woman, but that's really something I should probably keep for his 21st.

A small musical interlude in remembrance of my pre-children, pre-husband, pre-sick golden days. I give you Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes (1982).  Plus this particular film clip has John Cusack in Grosse Pointe Blank, and includes a cat puppet.  What more could you want?

Fabulous Fridays: All Hail the Mighty Geek.

Well it's that time of the week again when I break out my rose coloured glasses, staple that slightly deranged and ecstatic smile on my face, and leave the realms of reality to live in a land of puppies, lollipops, fairy dust and moonbeams.

I must admit its a tad more difficult today as I am currently battling a very virulent form of pestilence brought home by the Ebola ridden, youngest monkey boy. And when you are already scrapping the bottom of the health barrel it's not pretty site.

I apologise to all the trees that have been felled so I can have something to catch the litres of fluids making an break for it via my tender nostrils.  Normally I am  recycled paper girl, but not today.  My Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer impersonation requires silk touch, aloe vera soaked, triple ply, bleached and pulverised old growth rainforest tissues.  Tomorrow I'll get back on my Green soap box, but not today.  Besides I figure it's all balanced out by my use of happy eggs, dolphin friendly cleaning products, recycled loo paper and the water saving philosophy of "if it's brown flush it down.  If it's yellow let it mellow".

Old Eunice is valiantly battling through the truckloads of mucus that have chosen to reside in my noggin, to try and get me through this, so be prepared to be wowed by my mediocre efforts.  Tip for the day: if you close one eye and screw up your face, it takes the edge off the jack hammer pounding away in your head when you are looking at a computer screen.  Alternately it could be the litre of cough mixture and Nurofen I had for breakfast, who knows.  So just bear with me whilst I chant my perky mantra to try and brainwash myself into pathological optimism:

Going to my happy place
Going to my happy place 
Going to my happy place

Okay.  My glass is once more half-full, maybe half-full of mucus of varying densities, but half-full none the less.

All right now before I OD on Lemsip and Vicks Vapour Rub fumes, I thought today I'd write a post to celebrate the nerds and geeks of this world.  I have been inspired by a recent news story here in Australia and I think that it behoves me as a proud Aussie to share it with the world.

Now prior to the story I should acknowledge the controversy surrounding the terms 'nerd' and 'geek'.  I often use these interchangeably but apparently this is a huge faux pas.  So to save you this embarrassment I give you this link to explain these different groups (to lazy to do it myself today).  And what would a discussion of geeks and nerds be without a Venn diagram to help explain this contentious issue.

(Great White Shark)

Oh Venn diagram, how I love thy overlapping circles of knowledge.

On May 1st 2010, in the fair city of churches, Adelaide, Sth Australia, a robbery was thwarted by Spiderman, two Jedi and The Flash.  Well geeks in a comic book store, on International Free Comic Day, dressed as Spiderman, Jedi knights and The Flash, foiled the robbery.  And what was the evil doer stealing you may ask, why a comic book of course.  An X-Men Omnibus no less.  Yep the evil geek was captured by the good geeks.  Go geeks.  Now the evil comic napper nearly got away with it as bystanders at first thought it was a case of LARPing when the spidie suit-clad owner apprehended the theif, but luckily the Jedi with their super mind powers knew better and called '000'.  Love it!  You can read the full story here.

(I love the fact that in the 2001 census over 70,000 Australians classed their religion as Jedi).

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not paying out geeks.  I love me some geeks, especially being a geek myself (I am wearing a Wonder Woman t-shirt as I type).  I even married a computer geek (a very hot computer geek, but a computer geek none the less).  I am proud to say he doesn't own a pocket protector or Spock ears.  And thankfully he didn't propose to me in Klingon, but he is the kind of guy who thinks Jean Luc Picard is cool and whose list of ideal women over the years have included, Dana Scully, Samantha Carter and Seven of Nine.

In fact I do call him Comic Book Guy (from The Simpsons) and have brought him a little figurine of his alter ego.  His secret identity was confirmed when Comic Book Guy utter the classic words, "And I would like an hour on the holodeck with Seven of Nine", a Mr Grumpy fantasy of long standing.

("Lucite hardening... must end life in classic 
Lorne Greene pose from Battlestar Galactica

... Best... Death... Ever."

Comic Book Guy as, "The Collector".  Photo from here)

For those unfamiliar with Comic Book Guy, a tribute can be found at Alt.Nerd.Obsessive.

I'll even admit that I didn't mind the new Battlestar Galactica (and I am very anti-remaking of the classics), though in my own geekdom I will say that Dirk Benedict will always be Starbuck to me (see I have been a geek for years). But I do think the use of "Frack" as a swear word was pure geeky genius.

(Lt. Starbuck (Dirk Benedict).  

Photo courtesy of The Geek Bookworm).

Now just as long as they don't try and re-do Buck Rogers In the 25th Centrury.  A modern day version of Twiki would be just wrong, or as he would say "Beedeebeedeebeedee...".  Oh wow, I think I just out geeked myself.

On that note I shall say good on you middle-aged men of Adelaide who are brave enough to wear your underwear on the outside and carry your lightsabres in public, whilst defending the world against evil.  "Live long and prosper", my dweeby brother and sisters, and "may the Force be with you".

Cheers

The geeky and very phlegmy Michelle :)

 

Star Trekkin', The Firm,  (1987). Luv it and I still know all the words. Made it to No.3 on the charts in Australia.  So proud.