Well Funkfest 2012 continues despite my best efforts. Whether it is my generally craptastic health, my brain that appears to have evaporated in the heat of Summer, or life which seems to persist in running full speed and flinging crap bombs at me at every opportunity, it appears that Funkfest will be here for a bit of an extended gig.
So between a broken dog, a broken me, a youngest child going in for surgery, a husband's 40th birthday and inundation by his clan, I'm not going to be up to blogging, or breathing and standing, over the next couple of weeks.
So I am taking a deep breath and opening up the blog to some guest posts.
You may get a good idea of my level of crappness by the fact I am even thinking of this. My control freak self is not good at relaxing my sphincter enough to allow others to play with my toys.
If you are interested in applying for the opportunity to guest post there are only a few requirements:
1) You must make me laugh. This is perhaps the most important criteria. As we all know a life with chronic illness is a life of absurdity. If the post elicits snort laughs or Poise worthy moments your chances of selection increase. Prolific use of sarcasm will receive bonus points.
2) Preference will be given to illness related posts. I'm not going to confine it to Dysautonomia as many of us have multiple illnesses. And lets face it who can't find a laugh in going arse up and flashing your granny undies at a check out, or attempting to put on compression hose with muppet arms. Catheterisation and colonoscopies are rife with humour and pretty much write themselves.
3) Short and sweet is good. I can't recall what I wrote two paragraphs ago so if it's long I will most likely pass out or be distracted by a bright shiny object, before I get to the end.
4) I am currently reading with one eye closed (aka clenched in bowel weakening agony) thanks to the persistent red hot poker that is lodged there, so easy to read, big font would be lovely.
5) Pretty pictures and rocking tunes are welcome.
6) References to classic scifi or horror will also get bonus points. If you know all the words to The Ballard of Jayne, (without cheating) you may just be a shoe in.
7) Send all posts (completed, not just a topic idea) to firstname.lastname@example.org
I'm looking for 6 blog posts which would give me about 3 weeks grace to try and relearn the breathing and walking skills I once had.
8) Okay I have more than 6 submissions already (man, you guys are quick) so I will read through them all and pick the final six at the end of next week. Remember: To judge it fairly I'll need the whole post not just a topic or idea.
So what are you waiting for?
And to continue my funky theme.....