Saturday 25 February 2012

Would you like to guest post?

Well Funkfest 2012 continues despite my best efforts. Whether it is my generally craptastic health, my brain that appears to have evaporated in the heat of Summer, or life which seems to persist in running full speed and flinging crap bombs at me at every opportunity, it appears that Funkfest will be here for a bit of an extended gig.

So between a broken dog, a broken me, a youngest child going in for surgery, a husband's 40th birthday and inundation by his clan, I'm not going to be up to blogging, or breathing and standing, over the next couple of weeks.

So I am taking a deep breath and opening up the blog to some guest posts.

You may get a good idea of my level of crappness by the fact I am even thinking of this. My control freak self is not good at relaxing my sphincter enough to allow others to play with my toys.

If you are interested in applying for the opportunity to guest post there are only a few requirements:

1) You must make me laugh. This is perhaps the most important criteria. As we all know a life with chronic illness is a life of absurdity. If the post elicits snort laughs or Poise worthy moments your chances of selection increase. Prolific use of sarcasm will receive bonus points.

2) Preference will be given to illness related posts. I'm not going to confine it to Dysautonomia as many of us have multiple illnesses. And lets face it who can't find a laugh in going arse up and flashing your granny undies at a check out, or attempting to put on compression hose with muppet arms. Catheterisation and colonoscopies are rife with humour and pretty much write themselves.

3) Short and sweet is good. I can't recall what I wrote two paragraphs ago so if it's long I will most likely pass out or be distracted by a bright shiny object, before I get to the end.

4) I am currently reading with one eye closed (aka clenched in bowel weakening agony) thanks to the persistent red hot poker that is lodged there, so easy to read, big font would be lovely.

5) Pretty pictures and rocking tunes are welcome.

6) References to classic scifi or horror will also get bonus points. If you know all the words to The Ballard of Jayne, (without cheating) you may just be a shoe in.

7) Send all posts (completed, not just a topic idea) to

I'm looking for 6 blog posts which would give me about 3 weeks grace to try and relearn the breathing and walking skills I once had.


8) Okay I have more than 6 submissions already (man, you guys are quick) so I will read through them all and pick the final six at the end of next week.  Remember: To judge it fairly I'll need the whole post not just a topic or idea.

So what are you waiting for?


And to continue my funky theme.....


  1. I am honored that you are asking. I would love to guest post and I am wishing you strength in the days and weeks ahead. Much love to you my friend~

    1. Thanks Autumn. Feel like I'm falling apart at the seams at the moment, which I'm sure you understand only too well. I'm trying to see this as a big step forward in me asking for help, not something I'm good at. Now if only I could get my sphincter to relax a little ;)

  2. oh heck. We're both in a funk. It has got to be the darn weather. I really hope you recover soon, because I really need a good laugh from your posts. I totally understand your frustration and inability to blog right now- it has taken me two weeks just to get halfway through a draft post and I'm still feeling too crap to finish it blah.

    I'm heading back to work in the next week. Standing for three hours is stressing me out. I have know idea how I'll cope, so I'm in a total funk freak-out.

    I love your criteria. I do have a good catheterisation story. If only brain fog would bugger off...

    I think a lot of chocolate will be consumed over the next few weeks.

    Sending you love and hugs x

    1. Maybe it is the weather. It's certainly killing me today, sooooo hot! Good luck with the job, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that it goes okay. Does this mean the humira is working? I hope so and that the sideeffects have gone away.

      Here's hoping we both de-funk super soon. :)

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  4. I just sent you an email. Hope I'm not too late, just saw your blog post. It SUCKS you are in a funk, and hope you are able to recoup and get walking again soon. Bob is an ass.

    1. Bob is an arse indeed, though in truth I've been struggling for a while and should have waved the white flag before it got to this stage. It's been a shitty start to the year frankly.

      Loved your entry by the way, references to Jayne, Firefly, Battlestar Gallactica and Star Wars? You officially rock!

  5. hey michelle

    im sure you wouldnt want my ramblings. ive found over the past six or seven years i cant coherently string a sentence together. it feels like my brain cells are slowly being erased.

    i hope you feel a little better soon. this is know life. will keep my long marfan type fingers crossed for your son, sorry hes having to have an op.

    take extra good care of yourself michelle. xxx

    1. Thanks Em. I know what you mean, it's getting harder to be coherent and takes me way longer to write anything these days. And to think I once was known for my writing, oh well those days are long gone. My first (second, third, fourth...)drafts look like I've been taking meth these days.

      I'm hoping that the surgery will go smoothly for my youngest and work to keep his patellas in place finally. It's one leg at a time though with months of recovery and rehab in between, so it'll be a long year for all of us. I'll definitely take you finger crossing.

      PS i happen to love your ramblings xxxx


All who are lovely enough to comment should be showered with cup cakes, glitter and macarons. I promise to use my spoon bending mind powers to try and get that happening for all who are lovely enough to share their words. Those who go the extra step to share posts should really get a free unicorn. Or at least the gift of finding the shortest and quickest line at the supermarket on a regular basis. xx

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