Christmas suggestions for your favourite Dysautonomia patient

I have heard of these strange people who are actually organised with their Christmas shopping. People who start planning for the next Christmas on the 26th December, and start purchasing gifts for their loved ones shortly after. Freaks.

I am not one of these people.

I am the person who even pre-sick was running around like a chook with their head cut off in the last couple of days before the 25th, freaking out that they haven't managed to buy all the necessary gifts. Since becoming sick much of this shopping has been delegated to a poor Mr Grumpy, who loooooves shopping (insert large amounts of sarcasm right here).

However, this past year I discovered the joy of Internet shopping. I know, I've got my finger on the pulse, right? Just call me hipster of the morning, up to date with all the latest newfangled things. So this year I thought I'd put together a list of my favourite Internet shopping spots and gift ideas.

Being chronically ill and often stuck going stir crazy inside my four walls, my shopping needs differ a little to that of regular folk. For me it's all about the pampering and beautifying of my small pocket of the world. 

I should add I am in no way associated with these brands. They are simply the ones I've had personal experience with and/or have on my own wishlist. 

PJ Alternatives:

I spend a ridiculous amount of time in pjs these days. When you are chronically ill you want to be comfortable and old battered flannelette pjs fit the bill perfectly. However, these can leave you in a bit of a funk. Prior to going into hospital in August I surveyed my collection of threadbare, yet comfortable, pjs and realised I really didn't want to be wearing them in public. So started my search for some cute pjs or pj alternatives. Luckily my search coincided with a tweet from the fabulous Claire Bowditch about Lazybones, be still my vintage loving heart.

Lazybones have some beautiful vintage inspired clothing and housewares. I have my eye on a number of their dresses not that I go many places anymore. I ended up buying quite a few pieces to take to hospital. Not pjs, but definitely comfortable and pretty alternatives (check out the Relax range). Mind you I also took in my red, and sparkly silver ballet flats to wear. Who says you can't look good in hospital? Now home, I wear them all the time (I'm actually wearing a pair of their pants and a cardi as I type). Comfort should never be underestimated and if you can match that with fashion, why not.

(comfy and pretty)

I am aware that many of us living with chronic illness are living on super tight budgets, being sick is an expensive business. But Lazybones do have quite a fabulous sale section where you can pick up many great pieces for a bargain. A quick review of the current sales and there are a lot of light, pretty and comfortable options for great prices. 

(I'm a complete sucker for any company that goes the extra mile. My order, complete with "brown paper packages tied up with strings....", well played Lazybones.)

I also have a thing for funky t-shirts and Threadless fit the bill. Again with a budget in mind they often have a $9.99 clearance range on offer. The designs cover a wide range of popular culture and geeky themes so fits me perfectly. I have quite a few of their t-shirts now and wear them on a regular basis. I will say it does take a while for them to make their way to Oz so if you want them for Christmas, order now. 

(Green Recycle t-shirt)

Bedding:

Just as we spend much time in pjs, those of us with chronic illness spend a lot of time in bed. Some beautiful bed linen can make it seem like less of a burden to be stuck in bed. Currently my bedroom is about as inspiring as old cardboard. The previous owners were either in love with 80's salmon/apricot vomit inducing paint/curtains/carpet/fixtures or got a great deal on an end of stock clearance sale. It's like we are living inside a house made entirely of salmon mousse. 

Recently I discovered the beautiful work of Peacocks and Paisleys. I love vibrant colours and patterns and have always loved the aesthetic of Indian fabrics. Her collection is stunning and made using hand block printed textiles from India. I am in love her Modern Bohemian collection, so pretty and vibrant. So now I am saving my pennies to purchase one of her lovely quilt covers, and maybe some curtains. If I can't get out to my garden on a regular basis, then I'm going to bring the garden inside. Okay so this isn't really a bargain option. But it is the kind of purchase that will last you a long time and I am willing to do my own version of layby (ie put any left over cash into my money jar until it starts to add up) to save up and buy such a lovely piece. 

(so pretty)

Body creams:

As regular readers know I am a huge fan of MOR Cosmetics. My sister first introduced me to MOR a couple of years ago via a care package she sent when I was going through a rather rough phase. Since then I have been a complete convert to the Marshmallow range, be it the body cream or the lip silk. I'm of the mind set if you find something you love why change. Recently, I purchased the perfume oil. This purchase coincided with a really rough health phase for me where I was stuck in bed for a number of days. Lifting my head was hard, let alone trying to rub in body cream (my usual pampering/feel better routine). But with the perfume oil I could do a quick dab and voila!, the beautiful Marshmallow fragrance with little to no effort. It's amazing how smells can make you feel better.

I love that they are a local Melbourne company, that they pay attention not only to the product but the packaging (too nice to throw away), have great customer service, and they were kind enough to support my last giveaway. Additionally, for the budget conscious they frequently have great deals for members. They also add little samples to your order. These are perfect to take along for hospital stays. And lets face it, you need a little pampering when you're in hospital.

(See I'm not joking when I say I love their products)

Chocolate:

My fondness for Lindt Excellence with A Touch of Sea Salt is well known. I still see this as the perfect Dysautonomia  present. It has dark chocolate which contains potassium, and salt, for which we are one of the few disorders where your cardiologist will strongly recommend increasing your intake. In my mind this is therefore a purely medicinal product. And a block is definitely budget friendly. 

I always have a stash in the fridge and the boys know to keep their hands off. I also cook with A Touch of Sea Salt, making everything from brownies to toasted sandwiches (if you haven't tried a toasted chocolate sandwich you haven't lived) or a fabulous hot chocolate with a pinch of cayenne. Lindt Australia were also kind enough to support my last give away, so they do have a special place in my heart. A while back Mr Grumpy visited one of their many stores and brought me home some delicious Excellence 70% chocolate macarons/delice. They were fabulous (hint hint Mr Grumpy). I did see on their site they have a salted caramel version, again surely this is a perfect gift for the Dysautonomia patient! 

Water Bottle:

If you have Dysautonomia you need a reusable water bottle, so why not make it pretty. There are multiple brands that offer cute reusable water bottles these days. You can pretty much find something for everyone. I stumbled across the Thermos water bottles by chance a few years ago. I always think of Thermos as being for hot drinks or soups, so was surprised to find they do one for cold drinks. I love mine. It keeps the water icy cold (great coming into Summer) and is pretty much indestructible. Mine has be thrown around, dropped, kicked, you name it, and still works and looks a treat. 

(This is the one I have but they have many different styles. I also quite like this one and this one)

These products pretty much fit my daily life, pj alternatives, lovely bedding, body creams, chocolate and water. I don't have much in the way of energy and I am at home 95% of the time. Sometimes it's just about making that time as pleasant as possible. 

Happy shopping.

Cheers

Michelle :)

The Obligatory Christmas Post.

Well, you knew it was coming. There had to be a Christmas post describing the varied delights of the time of good will to all men (and women, and hermaphrodites and transgender, and all those along the continuum). No doubt there will also be an obligatory New Years post, it's a given really. I must admit I do love Christmas. There have been good bits and bad bits, and perhaps most importantly there has been ham.

Christmas has a smell that you can recognise anywhere. It's a mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, all spice, Grand Marnier, and flustered present buying stress sweat. I love the decorations and the food. The novelty of people actually making an effort to smile and be cheerful. The traditional Christmas Eve movie, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. You know exactly what is going to happen yet you laugh every time. It's the one time of the year that I really love all the tacky trimmings. At the hospital where I used to work, we would dress up one of the skeletons with tinsel and baubles and he would sit with pride next to the front desk. It wasn't really Christmas until he was sitting out there topped with his Santa hat. No one cares how silly they look with their tinsel wrapped hair and flashing reindeer earrings. Everyone's a child, regardless of whether they are 5 or 95. Joy is in the air and the closest thing to bar humbug are those black and white lollies you buy at the sweet shop. Well at least for the most part.

Pre-Christmas Bob made his presence known. A simple trip to the den of iniquity also known as the Knox shopping centre, was punctuated by frequent trips to the rancid public conveniences to remove all traces of food from my body. I do fear I may have mislaid a liver or at least a kidney down that pungent porcelain but I was not in the mood to search and am willing to live with whatever I have lost. Whilst this does not in and of itself scream Christmas, I did get to experience all this with the joyous tunes of Deck the Halls, Jingle Bells and Joy to the World, screeching out of the tinny speakers in the water stained roof of the bathroom.

Ah the joys of Christmas shopping, the goodwill in the car park, the kindness shown to shop assistants. Oh wait a minute that's bizarro world. This is the worst part of Christmas. The time of year when people feel it is their right to screech like banshees and behave like morally bankrupt, self-centred two-year-olds all in the aim of buying a Wii or a copy of Twilight, to ensure they and only they have the Christmas of their dreams. There was the rude middle-aged woman berating a poor shaking pimple-covered shop assistant who was trying his best to maintain his composure. She ripped the receipt from his hand, screamed over him as he tried to explain and was generally a complete cow. Call me crazy but I don't think that is the best demonstration of Christmas spirit when buying Lego for your grand kids. There were the people swearing at each other in the car park because someone stole someone's car park. I do think the height of Christmas spirit are the thieves who break into people's cars at shopping centres to steal the presents in the boot. Bar Humbug! Thankfully David did the majority of shopping this year or I think I would have been emotionally defeated weeks before the big day.


I managed to bake and chop and stir and blitz with minimal damage. Though I will have to admit that my attempts at Turkish Delight ended up more comparable to 1980's version of The Blob than the delicate rosewater delight I was aiming for. It is actually possible to bake away to your hearts content with a nuclear powered air conditioner (sorry global warming but it's Christmas and there must be mince tarts), a chair in front of the oven, bucket loads of salty potato chips and a never ending supply of cold water. Collapsing, vomiting and nanna naps on tiles are optional. No? You don't believe me. Okay compulsory then.

The house managed to get decorated and thanks to the efforts of my industrious mother, the house was cleaned before the invasion of the hordes from the west, I mean the family. They know I love them, I'm just rather comfortable with our quiet and sedentary life. The addition of 7 extra people, including 3 children aged 4, 5, and 6, was like being strapped into one of those astronaut training centrifuges going at about 50 g (note that 3-6 g sustained for more than a few seconds can cause blackouts and death and you kinda get the idea).


Bob was kept relatively at bay on the big day thanks in part to a promise of gold, my left kidney, a date with a Victoria's Secret Model and my first born son (sorry Thomas, but it's just one of those things). There may have also been some influence from my rash decision to up my meds for the big day, for which I have well and truly been chastised by my very disappointed, zero-tolerance body.

My long thought out decision to wear a sleeveless baby doll top to accommodate for both the traditional Australian Christmas day heat and the obligatory ham and turkey OD was found to have a large flaw. Halfway through the day my eldest was nice enough to point out that if I bent over you could clearly see my mid-30s, 2 children, womanly pancakes. Thereby turning to stone the unlucky viewer. This is not the first time my children have chosen to inform me of my poor fashion sense at an inopportune time. Pre-Christmas my youngest decided to inform me that the maxi-dress I was wearing was completely see through. He had noticed this earlier in the day but decided to burst my blissful bubble of ignorance halfway through our weekly shop at the local supermarket.

I was very impressed with my culinary efforts on the day, so I must brag a little. There was turkey cooked to perfection. Potatoes and pumpkin baked in a bath of chicken stock, herbs, garlic and large globs of butter, which they soaked up and caramelised to gooey goodness. Warm roast duck salad with chilli, lime and general Asiany delights. I forked out for the good ham, and it was good, oh so good. Five days later I am vaguely aware through the haze of my ham induced high that I may be about to OD. A shudder of fear runs through me every time I look at the dwindling leg sitting in my fridge. Deep down I know that each slice brings me closer to the inevitable time when this pink salty nirvana will be over and the withdrawal will begin. Yet I continue to chase the porcine dragon with wilful abandon. There were other gastronomic delights, babaganoush, macadamias roasted with rosemary and sea salt, triple cream brie, smoked salmon and capers, but none truly compare to the Babe version of china white wrapped lovingly in its vinegar soaked ham bag.


I managed to have a glass of champagne, scored with the presents and overall the day went pretty well. No family feuds erupted and the kids didn't fight, scream or cry despite the ingestion of copious amounts of sugar. The good crystal survived the day, the dogs didn't attack the children despite repeated poking and even the teenager managed to speak in full sentences rather than the normal grunts. There was genuine laughter and smiles throughout the day and even after about 10 hours of family bonding we were truly disappointed that the day was over. If that's not a Christmas miracle I don't know what is.
So there you go that was Christmas for this year and we all managed to survive. The aftermath wasn't pretty but that's always the case, Bob or no Bob.

So I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.

OK that's it I'm off to nourish my ham addiction.

Michelle :)