Sunday, 14 September 2014

Prove it.


A music celebrity singles out two concert goers not standing and dancing. The concert stops and security is sent over. It turns out one was in a wheelchair and one an amputee. Satisfied the celebrity declares that it's okay then, and proceeds with the concert.

Where oh where to start?

I'm not even going to mention his name. It's all over social media at the moment and I've had my say over on my FB page. And in truth, his identity is irrelevant except to point out his incredible display of wankerism. I'm not even going to get into the argument that if you've spent your hard earned cash on a concert ticket and want to sit throughout, that it's your right to do so. But for me there is a bigger issue at play.

What this represents is yet another example of ableism and the persistent idea that disability is visible.

What if, like for many people there was no wheelchair, no cane, no prosthetic, no visible difference that signified genuine disability. What if the ailment that they live with is completely invisible and they look well to those who don't know them.

As Invisible Illness Week 2014 comes to it's conclusion we are shown a very public example of how many people envision acceptable disability.

Living with a disorder that is for the most part invisible it's hard not to imagine the singer's reaction to my sitting if I wasn't in my chair. Standing, particularly for an extended period, is incredibly difficult for those living with Dysautonomia. Standing up is said to require three times the energy required for those without autonomic dysfunction. The same issue occurs in multiple conditions. Prolonged standing for those with EDS, ME, COPD, CRPS and many other chronic and traditionally invisible conditions can be incredibly difficult.

Yet we may save up our limited energy to attend a concert. We may up our meds, rest for days, and book out days after to recover. We do all that we can to attend any events and as much as we'd like to stand and dance, we are simply stoked to be there sitting in a seat watching the singer of choice.

To be singled out and chastised for not getting up and dancing would be embarrassing to say the least. To then have to prove why you have the right to be sitting. To have a complete stranger who knows nothing about you decide that your disability is valid or not valid is dehumanising and out right rude.

Imagine if that person was only just coming to terms with their disability?

You have to stand:

"unless you got a handicap pass where you get special parking and s---,"

Ugh. Which bit of ignorance to start with? 


Why should anyone have to prove disability? Especially to a complete entitled douche who thinks he has the right to both chastise and decide who can and cannot stand at his concert.

I am tired of others asking people to prove their disability. To prove that what they experience is real. That it is legitimate. I am tired that there is a continuing pervasive idea that only certain very visible issues are genuine or valid disabilities. I am over people who think that they have an instinctive right to judge the legitimacy of a person's disability. I am over people who have absolutely no expertise and no idea who suddenly feel they are experts in the field of disability and have developed some sort of superpower that enables them to identify disability at a single glance.

I don't wish this singer ill. I don't wish him to be in my position. I don't want him to spend a day in a wheelchair, after which he can just  get up and go on with life. I don't want him to think that the only way to experience disability is to be in a wheelchair. A day or a week or a month living my life, will not give him true insight into my experience. I have been ill 24/7 for 8 years and I will continue to be ill and get worse. A day in a wheelchair will not expose him to all that entails. And frankly why should that be what is required to simply act like a decent human being.

You can have compassion without understanding. You can have decency without understanding. You don't need to know the intricacy of anothers life to treat them with respect due any human being.

Disability comes in so many shades. Some visible. Some not. Some physical. Some psychological. Some intellectual. Some in a combination of all of those. I don't wish pain, or nausea, of passing out, or anxiety, or depression, or any other issue upon him or anyone else.

But I do wish that people would pull their heads out of their arse and

a) get some perspective,
b) stop trying to judge others on false criteria
c) become educated,
d) just be a decent compassionate human being who realises that they cannot spot disability at a single glance
e) have absolutely no right to ask for proof
f) or judge in the first place.

Oh and did I mention pull their head out of their arse.

Michelle

9 comments:

  1. YER!
    I think his head is so far up his arse he has to use his nostrils for a light source.

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  2. Amen! I was appalled to read an article about this incident. I wanted to put something on my Facebook page but he doesn't even merit mention and it would have been a waste of my energy. He's a first class douche canoe and just needs to crawl into a hole somewhere far away. His arrogance is mind boggling

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  3. Pure ignorance, arrogance and insensitivity..

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  4. Yeah if people knew how car it is just to sit up when u have dsyatunomia .... They would not judge.

    Ignorance knows no compassion....


    Reminds me of the Christian parable where Jesus tries to wake up an ignorant dude. The guy who hard everything in life can't understand, why those who suffer in this life inherit the good life in the end...

    I hope this raises the bar for respect

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  5. I am literally at the hospital right now as I write this. I saw this "news" story in the doctor's office. You responded perfectly. Well done. Though I must admit, for a second, I did wish he knew what I live with everyday. I have POTS on top of EDS, FMS and a myriad of other acronyms.

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  6. Damn, lost another reply. I had the 'pleasure' of hearing my family criticize said douche bag while simultaneously being judged for 'not trying hard enough' when I observed that it could have been me singled out at that concert if I had attended. My family aren't douche bags. And they love me. Which goes to show how pervasive this shite is.


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  7. Thanks everyone. I think most people had the same reaction to his appalling behaviour. Most people despite kanye himself and Kim. Now he is playing the traditional 'I'm the victim' card. Ugh. I know I shouldn't be surprised but it still makes me so angry.

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All who are lovely enough to comment should be showered with cup cakes, glitter and macarons. I promise to use my spoon bending mind powers to try and get that happening for all who are lovely enough to share their words. Those who go the extra step to share posts should really get a free unicorn. Or at least the gift of finding the shortest and quickest line at the supermarket on a regular basis. xx