Friday, 10 May 2013

40 is the new whatever.


Today is the last day of my 30's. Exciting, no? I'm sure I'm excited. Really I am. Well people keep telling me that I should be excited, or depressed, or that today should be seen as a last hurrah. But I seem to have a bad case of the meh.

40 seemed so old when I was a kid. Now it just seems like, well, I'm not sure. It just is. Yet another day on the calendar. Another year done and dusted. I just don't get the hype. I don't feel older. Well my body does, but in my mind I'm still 20, or 12 (fart jokes still crack me up). Apparently, I'm supposed to be hitting my sexual prime. Okay, I can't even type that with a straight face. And if all my years of Oprah viewing taught me anything it was that I am now supposed to have some epiphany and come into my own as a woman. Bwahahahahaha.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not upset or depressed either. And it is better than the alternative. It just doesn't feel like that big a deal in the scheme of things.

The lack of care factor could be partially due to the fact that the last week or so has been more a hello 80 than hello 40 moment.

Last week I was officially confirmed as disabled. Bonus. Yesterday was spent checking out tilting wheelchairs named Karma (obviously I kicked A LOT of kittens in a previous life if that's my karma). YAY. This morning I was mocked by my dosette box and granny compression stockings. And to top it all off I found a new breast lump. Woo Hoo! Celebrate good times. Come On!

Though in truth I've been pretty meh about the whole 40 issue for quite a while. I don't like fuss. I particularly don't like fuss about me. And these days, well fuss is just plain exhausting.

Part of me would like to party like it's 1999. In 1999 I was throwing back rocket fuel shooters in a dodgy karaoke bar in Middle-of-Nowhere, Vietnam. Surrounded by drunk Asian businessmen whilst singing a fabulous, if I do say so myself, version of Fame. Now those were good times.

In reality I'd be happy with a nice meal, chooks and a goat. Yep chooks and a goat. Don't tell me I don't know how to party. Though now we are moving my chook and goat plan has gone on the back burner till we get to the new house at the end of the year.

My 30's have made me re-evaluate what's important. Not out of any deliberate attempt on my behalf to find myself or any other such psycho-babble. But when life hits you upside the head and throws you flailing into the abyss you are forced to really examine all your beliefs and what makes life worthwhile. And frankly arbitrary time measurements and socially expected celebrations aren't up there for me. Good friends, the love of your family and learning that happiness is a gift you can give yourself are where it's at for me.

So goodbye 30, hello 40. Or as it really feels, hello another day of breathing with a potential for macarons.

Cheers
Michelle :)

If you do want to celebrate for me, give out 40 smiles tomorrow. Give them to family, friends or strangers. Or give them to yourself. You just might make someone's day, or even your own. xx

Because I am a child of the 80's and I really can't get excited about tomorrow.

16 comments:

  1. I've never been big on celebrating 'significant' birthdays, but when I've been persuaded into it, the occasion has been much more enjoyable than I'd expected. It is really more about your loved ones showing you how much you mean to them. I hope your birthday is better than you expect and you have a lovely day.

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    1. Thanks Mary. It was a good day despite being quite unwell. Managed to get out of the house for a couple of hours to a local Indian restaurant which was a nice treat. :)

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  2. ♬♪♩♩♪♫♬ Happy Birthday To You ♩♪♫♬ ♩♪♫
    ♩♪♫♬♪♫ Happy Birthday To You ♬♪♩♩♪♫♬
    ♪♫♬ ♩♪♫♬ Happy Birthday Dear Michelle.....
    ♩♪♫♬ Happy Birthday To You ♩♪♫♬

    Jane

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    1. Thanks Jane, and I'm very impressed that you know how to put those musical notes on the page xx

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  3. have a happy birthday michelle. Im not so sure of the significance of birthday now, however I had a lovely piece of chocolate cake on mine last week!!! take care. x

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    1. Happy birthday for last week Em. I had chocolate cake too! Well more chocolate fudge than true cake as it was GF but gosh it was delicious xx

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  4. 40 macarons. Let's eat 40 of 'em. And then let's...let's just cuddle and watch Dr. Horrible. Happiest of days, lovely. You're my favorite.

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    1. Oooo I like your thinking. Let there be macarons and Dr Horrible for all!!!!! xx

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  5. Im new to your blog and a fellow sufferer of Hyperandregeric POTS. Your sense of humor in dealing with this bastardy condition is much like my own. My sister actually found your blog and forwarded it to me with a comment of "I've found someone as crazy as you, check her out" LOL. I knew we def were Kindred Spirits when I saw the Ruby Slippers. I have been dealing with my dark passenger since 1999, while you were still singing Karaoke in Viet Nam. I am now 55 and feel like 155. I have a blog on this subject too(Oz themed) if you would care to check it out I would love to share my experience with you: tootiredtolivebutstillbreahting.blogspot.com Judy

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    1. Sorry for the slow reply Judy, will check out your blog. Go the crazies. All the best people are a little left of centre :)

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    2. Hmmm the link won't work. Could you send it again?

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  6. Happy Birthday Michelle. xx

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  7. I've noticed the same crap (all rainbows all the time). Been dissed by several of the "keep it sunny" folks and its kinda got me down.
    You are my kinda gal, Michelle, I wish there were more with the smarts and sense of humor you have.
    Loving ya here in the US!
    Lori

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  8. I've noticed the same crap (all rainbows all the time). Been dissed by several of the "keep it sunny" folks and its kinda got me down.
    You are my kinda gal, Michelle, I wish there were more with the smarts and sense of humor you have.
    Loving ya here in the US!
    Lori

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  9. I'm a little over a year away from hitting my 30s, a point which, instead of fretting about, by and large I'm really happy over. My twenties have been the up and down rollercoaster ride of a lifetime. So many highs, lows, worries, problems, joys, uncertainties - you name it. Health issues aside, the past year and a little bit (since we moved into our current home) is the only time that's felt, by and large, somewhat stable and like I could plan more for the future of my thirties and beyond. Sure, part of me would love to be a teenager again, but a larger part is grateful that I've made it this far and can still look at the future with optimistic, hopeful eyes - and a good deal more wisdom (that only the passing of years can bestow).

    Happiest (slightly belated) birthday wishes, honey! With all my heart, I hope that you're able to have many positive days on the health front in the coming year.

    ♥ Jessica

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All who are lovely enough to comment should be showered with cup cakes, glitter and macarons. I promise to use my spoon bending mind powers to try and get that happening for all who are lovely enough to share their words. Those who go the extra step to share posts should really get a free unicorn. Or at least the gift of finding the shortest and quickest line at the supermarket on a regular basis. xx