Music Therapy

This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Autumn. A  fellow patient and Foo Fighters fan who's doing it tough right now. Send her some love. I hope things pick up for you my friend and you find some relief. xx

(My old battered copy of, One by One. Well used and well loved.)

I've been having another rough patch over the last few days. Just another trough in the usual roller-coaster ride that is Dysautonomia. Fun times. I have been perfecting the art of woe-is-me, hidden under the bed covers. Going for gold, people. None of this half-arsed whinging for me. In between moments of dramatic self-pity and swooning, I have also been playing my 'feel better' playlist on loop. All in the hope it'll pick me up and start me on the road back to normal levels of crap health. It's not the classic 'feel better' list, filled with touchy feely, treacle tunes, that most expect. Whilst I do have a typical emo list that I can sob away to at need (and lets face it ,we all need to do that at times), most of my 'feel better' list is far more rocky.

Music plays a huge part in my life as it does the lives of many. And my musical tastes are eclectic to say the least. I have a variety of playlists and artists that I follow, all of whom fit my differing moods. Some days you need a bit of alternative acoustic or jazz classics and yet other days you need to lose yourself in an 80s power ballad or some kickarse rock tune. In amongst all these tunes I have a small select collection of songs that rise above the others. Songs that have resonated with me from the first time I heard them played. There is something in the lyric, or the rise and fall of the melody, that just connects. I couldn't necessarily tell you why. But that song was there at just the right time. That magical moment when mood, need and music collide.

I often wonder if artists truly realise the impact their songs can have on the lives of those who listen to them. People who they will likely never meet, but are truly grateful that they took the time to pen those particular words and then, to share them with the world. That the three or four minutes of cracking beats and well-crafted words they create, can help people through the toughest and best times of their lives. I hope so.

Does it matter that what I find in the song may be different from the intent, or inspiring event, of the artist? Or does the fact it stirs something in me, something personal and visceral, fill the artist's intent? In turn emphasising the power and gift of both song and song writer? To be able to create something that stirs other people and resonates years after it is written is a gift and one I hope the artists know we cherish.

What stirs me may mean nothing to others. Similarly, what stirs others may remain a mystery to me. That is the power of music. We all have a need to be lifted up when times get tough and there is always a tune somewhere that'll be up to the task. An artist who speaks to your heart in just the right way.

One of my favourites came up on my newsfeed today and I immediately had to click play. You see when any of those central pick me up songs, comes up in my newsfeed, or I hear a snippet in a shop, or on the radio, I find myself reflexively singing along. Mostly under my breath or when I am having one of those completely oblivious days, singing out loud no matter who's around. And always that same feeling is evoked and everything just feels better. Just like smells can bring back memories, music for me can bring back a whole range of emotions.

Times like these, by the Foo Fighters came up today, and it is one of my seminal songs. Actually, I have a few Foo Fighters' songs in my list, Best of You and Walk are also known to be played loud when I am having a shocker of a day. But today it was Times Like These and I found myself singing along before the video even began.

   

I love the rockier version, but this acoustic version brings the words to life for me.

I've loved this song from the first time I heard it in my pre-sick days. And now that I am ill it has become a staple of my collection, and one to which I always come back.

I am a one way motorway

I'm the road that drives away

then follows you back home

I am a streetlight shining

I'm a white light blinding bright

burning off and on.

It's times like these you learn to live again

It's times like these you give and give again

It's times like these you learn to love again

It's times like these time and time again.

I am a new day rising

I'm a brand new sky

to hang the stars upon tonight

I am a little divided 

do I stay or run away

and leave it all behind?

It's times like these you learn to live again

It's times like these you give and give again

It's times like these you learn to love again

It's times like these time and time again.

The chorus just rings true for me. "it's times like these you learn to live again". Being sick it is easy to feel helpless and hopeless. But it can also be a time to relearn and reinvent yourself.

I didn't plan on being so ill. I didn't expect to spend my 30's as a medical guinea pig. I didn't expect to require a wheelchair or cane or a gigantic dosette box to house my ever increasing pill collection. For a long time I let that weight bear down on my shoulders at will, and felt defeated.

But I sit here almost 40 and realise that I have learnt to live again. Not just live, but enjoy life and all aspects of it. I don't enjoy it despite the painful and darker parts. I enjoy it because of them. Those harder aspects of life make the good parts shine even brighter. They serve a definite purpose in my life in that I now have an appreciation for the little things that make me happy. Things that I would have missed before. They forced me to re-evaluate my life and my perceptions and to realise that enjoying life is a choice, not defined by my life circumstances.

And all of that is captured in that one song.

I have no idea if that was what Dave Grohl or the Foo Fighters had in mind when this song was recorded, but it is what I take from the lyrics. Those words and the music they are so carefully wrapped in, hold all that and more for me. I don't care if anyone else can understand that. This is my song. You can have yours. I know that Dave Grohl will never know how much his words mean to me. That this slightly strange woman from Australia, sitting on her couch surrounded by dogs and coffee mugs, hears that song and it works like a panacea for the soul during those tough times. He will never know, but I am still thankful that he wrote them.

Cheers
Michelle :)

Are you a Foo Fighters fan? Or do your tastes run in different directions? What are some of your favourite pick me up songs?